Nutrition in Children with Cancer

Many babies with cancer are compelled to abandon treatment as a result of Malnutrition. What is important to understand is that many pediatric cancer patients have no nutritional problems during cancer treatment: they are able to eat enough to have the strength and energy to enjoy their normal level of activity. However, some patients lose weight, grow more slowly than their healthy friends, often feel tired or irritable, and get infections easily. All of these symptoms are at least partially due to poor nutrition. Patients' inability to get enough nourishment can be due to the cancer, its type or location, as well as to the mode, frequency, and duration of its treatment. Some patients actually gain weight during therapy.

 

The goals of nutrition care for pediatric cancer patients are to help achieve normal growth and weight gain, continue normal activities, and prevent problems. Meeting nutrition goals for children with cancer can be difficult - there are many different types of and reasons for nutrition-associated problems:

 

 

• Children who have tumours of the digestive tract (mouth, stomach, intestines) are especially at risk of not getting enough nutrients.
• Treatments like chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea or constipation, and poor appetite.
• Other side effects of chemotherapy include chewing and swallowing problems when the mouth, throat, or esophagus become too dry or sore.
• In addition, the child's sense of taste may change so that he/she no longer likes favourite foods.
• Radiation to the digestive tract can make it sore or keep it from working as well as it should
• Sometimes after patients are not allowed to eat for several days (as may be needed before or after surgery), they lose their interest in food.

So the BIG question is how can we help children with cancer get proper nutrition? Here's how:

• Being flexible is the key, because of the many types and causes of nutrition-related problems.
• Also, the "nutrition picture" can change often and rapidly. For example, cancer patients tend to eat poorly during treatment cycles but well between cycles. Encourage these children to eat extra when they feel well.
• Sometimes the patient is simply too unwell to eat or drink; at such times offering favourite or easily tolerated food items may help.
• Remind patients when it's time to eat, but don't push them.
• Try to get the foods they ask for. One rule of thumb, though: if you can't get the requested food within about an hour, don't spend time trying. Usually after this period, the child doesn't want it any longer. It will soon be time for the next meal or snack, so you'll have another chance to see if they'll eat.
• It is best to avoid force eating - especially in young children, who tend to do the opposite of what you want anyway.
• The reasons behind the need for good nutrition can be explained to older children and teenagers. They are then better able to take part in the steps that are required to keep their nutritional level as high as possible.

Here are some basic guidelines to encourage patients with poor appetite to eat adequately:

 

• Eat six times a day: three meals and three snacks.
• Try to finish what you start eating.
• Power pack" the food so that each bite counts by adding extra margarine, cheese, gravy, or sauce to foods. Offer the high fat version of a food like fried chicken instead of baked
• Choose a variety of food items from all food groups.
• Nutritional supplements can be helpful when food is refused.  Supplements are "nutrient-dense": they provide a lot of nutrients in a small amount. Because of this, they can be used as a meal replacement.
• However, let the child's physician, nurse, or dietitian know when poor eating continues for more than two or three days so that alternate plans can be made before malnutrition sets in.

Its important to understand that eating is more than just about nutrition. It is a bonding interaction that is important to the family. Continue the family meal habits that were present prior to the illness. For example, continue to have "Sunday dinner" if that has been a family tradition. Set a place at the table and have the child sit with the family for meals, even though he/she may eat something different or decide not to eat at that time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Pop Up Store!

The Pop Up Store

Who says you cant have fun while doing a good deed or two :)
The Cuddles Foundation organized its first Charity Pop up store Mar 8 and 9 at Mumbai

The pop up store was put up at a beautiful chic urban pent house of the Cuddles COO..who generously opened up her heart and home for a cause. On sale were beautiful home accents from Brands like Serenity and Freedom tree. Also on display were some unusual pieces of art from the art house- Aura Arts, Shoes and bags from Crimson. The accessories section was a huge hit with the visitors..

"The concept of pop up stores is such a rage and its for such a great cause- I just had to check it out"- said Naomi on of our visitors.

Another attraction was the garments brought in by designers Aditi Somani and Ami S.. not to mention the colour and air of festivity these lent to the store.

Visitors also donated food, supplements as well as Hygiene kit to the cancer afflicted children. All proceeds of the sales go to the Foundation towards cancer afflicted children and in support of pediatric wards at partner government Hospitals.

Thank you for all the partners and shoppers for making it a success.

Lukemia

Lukemia is the most prevelant form of cancer in babies. Read more to know about the disease

About Leukemia

Leukemia is a type of cancer that affects the body's white blood cells (WBCs).
Normally, WBCs help fight infection and protect the body against disease. But in leukemia, WBCs turn cancerous and multiply when they shouldn't, resulting in too many abnormal WBCs, which then interfere with organ function.
If too many lymphoblasts (a certain type of WBC) are produced, a child will develop acute lymphoblastic, or lymphoid, leukemia (ALL). This is the most common type of childhood leukemia, affecting about 75% of kids with this cancer of the blood cells. Kids ages 2 to 8 are more likely to be affected, but all age groups can develop ALL.
Thanks to advances in therapy and clinical trials, the outlook for kids with ALL is promising. With treatment, about 85% are cured.

Causes

The cause of ALL is not known. However, certain risk factors might increase a child's chance of developing it.
Kids with an identical twin who was diagnosed with the illness before age 6 have a 20% to 25% chance of developing ALL. Fraternal twins and other siblings of children with leukemia have two to four times the average risk of developing it, too.
Children who have inherited certain genetic problems (such as Li-Fraumeni syndrome, Down syndrome, Klinefelter syndrome, neurofibromatosis, ataxia telangiectasia, or Fanconi anemia) also have a higher risk of developing leukemia, as do those who are receiving medicines to suppress their immune systems after organ transplants.
Kids who have received radiation or chemotherapy for other types of cancer also have a higher risk, usually within the first 8 years after treatment.
In most cases, however, neither parents nor children have control over the factors that trigger leukemia. Current studies are investigating the possibility that some environmental factors may predispose a child to develop the disease. For example, prenatal radiation exposure (such as X-rays) may trigger ALL in a developing fetus. Women who are pregnant (or suspect they're pregnant) should inform their doctors before undergoing tests or medical procedures that involve radiation.

igns and Symptoms

All types of leukemia generally have the same symptoms, which include:

• fatigue and weakness
• swollen lymph nodes
• recurrent infections (like bronchitis or tonsillitis)
• fever
• easy bruising
• bone and joint pain
• abdominal pain (caused by abnormal blood cells accumulating in organs like the kidneys, liver, and spleen)

Diagnosis

The subtypes of ALL are classified according to the proteins found in the leukemia cells. This requires special tests. A doctor who suspects a child has leukemia might order these tests:

• Blood tests. Tests such as a complete blood count, liver and kidney function panels, and blood chemistries can give important information about the number of normal blood cells in the body and how well the organs are functioning. The blood cells will also be examined under a microscope to check for abnormal shapes or sizes.
• Bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. In this procedure, the doctor inserts a needle into a large bone, usually the hip, and removes a small amount of bone marrow to examine it for abnormal cells.
• Imaging studies. These may include an X-ray, CT scan, MRI, or ultrasound to check for an enlarged spleen or liver. These imaging studies are used to determine whether a mass of leukemia cells may be in the chest and may potentially interfere with breathing and/or blood circulation, and also to rule out any other possible causes of a child's symptoms.
• Lumbar puncture. Also called a spinal tap, this procedure uses a hollow needle to remove a small amount of cerebrospinal fluid (the fluid surrounding the brain and spinal cord) for examination in a lab. Cancerous WBCs can collect in this area.
• Flow cytometry tests. By analyzing the properties of the cancer cells, doctors can determine the type and many subtypes of leukemia a child has. This is important because treatment varies among different types of leukemia.
• Chromosomal tests. By analyzing DNA from your child's blood or bone marrow, doctors can check for the specific genetic changes that identify the various subtypes of ALL. This is important because treatments may vary according to subtype.

• Treatment

  Most children with ALL are treated with chemotherapy (the use of special drugs to kill cancer cells). What drugs are used and in what combination will depend on which subtype of ALL is present and how aggressive the disease is.
  Chemotherapy can be given intravenously as an injection into a muscle or orally in pill form. In intrathecal (IT) chemotherapy, a spinal tap is used to deliver chemotherapy drugs directly to the cerebrospinal fluid, where cancerous WBCs can collect.
  After treatment begins, the goal is remission (when there is no longer evidence of cancer cells in the body). Once remission has occurred, chemotherapy is usually used to keep the child in remission.
  Maintenance chemotherapy is given in cycles over a period of 2 to 3 years to keep the cancer from recurring. Leukemia will almost always relapse (recur) if this additional chemotherapy isn't given. Sometimes the cancer will return in spite of maintenance chemotherapy, and other forms of chemotherapy will be necessary.
  Some more aggressive forms of ALL might require a stem cell transplant (sometimes called a bone marrow transplant). This procedure involves destroying cancer cells and normal bone marrow and immune system cells with high-dose chemotherapy and then re-introducing healthy donor stem cells into the body. The new stem cells can rebuild a healthy blood supply and immune system.
  If a child needs a stem cell transplant, a test (called tissue typing or HLA [human leukocyte antigen] typing) will be done to help doctors find a suitable stem cell donor. This works by comparing the proteins on the surface of a child's blood cells with the proteins on a potential donor's cells. The more "HLA markers" a child and donor share, the greater the chance that the transplant will be successful.
  

  Coping

  Being told that a child has cancer can be a terrifying experience, and the stress of cancer treatment can be overwhelming for any family.
  Although you might feel like it at times, you're not alone. To find out about support that may be available to you or your child, talk to your doctor or a hospital social worker. Many resources are available that can help you get through this difficult time.
  
  Credit: Read more on http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/cancer/all.html#
   

Things to know about childhood Cancer

Every bodily cell is tightly regulated with respect to growth, interaction with other cells, and even its life span. Cancer occurs when a type of cell has lost these normal control mechanisms and grows in a way that the body can no longer regulate.
Different kinds of cancer have different signs, symptoms, treatments, and outcomes, depending on the type of cell involved and the degree of uncontrolled cell growth.

About Cancer

All kinds of cancer, including childhood cancer, have a common disease process — cells grow out of control, develop abnormal sizes and shapes, ignore their typical boundaries inside the body, destroy their neighbor cells, and ultimately can spread (or metastasize) to other organs and tissues.
As cancer cells grow, they demand more and more of the body's nutrition. Cancer takes a child's strength, destroys organs and bones, and weakens the body's defenses against other illnesses.
Cancer affects only about 14 of every 100,000 children in the United States each year. Among all age groups, the most common childhood cancers are leukemia, lymphoma, and brain cancer. As kids enter the teen years, there is an increase in the incidence of osteosarcoma (bone cancer).
The sites of cancer are different for each type, as are treatment and cure rates.
Typically, factors that trigger cancer in kids usually differ from those that cause cancer in adults, such as smoking or exposure to environmental toxins. Rarely, there may be an increased risk of childhood cancer in kids who have a genetic condition, such as Down syndrome. Those who have had chemotherapy or radiation treatment for a prior cancer episode may also have an increased risk of cancer.
In most cases, however, childhood cancers arise from noninherited mutations (or changes) in the genes of growing cells. Because these errors occur randomly and unpredictably, there's no effective way to prevent them.
Sometimes, a doctor might spot early symptoms of cancer at regular checkups. However, some of these symptoms (such as fever, swollen glands, frequent infections, anemia, or bruises) are also associated with other infections or conditions that are much more common than cancer. Because of this, both doctors and parents might suspect other childhood illnesses when cancer symptoms first appear.
Once cancer has been diagnosed, it's important for parents to seek help from a medical center that specializes in pediatric oncology (treatment of childhood cancer).

Cancer Treatment

The treatment of cancer in children can include chemotherapy (the use of medical drugs to kill cancer cells), radiation (the use of radiant energy to kill cancer cells), and surgery (to remove cancerous cells or tumors). The type of treatment needed depends on the type and severity of cancer and the child's age.

Surgery

For children with leukemia or lymphoma, surgery generally plays a minor role. This is because leukemia and lymphoma involve the circulatory system and lymphatics, two systems that are located all throughout the body, making it difficult to treat by operating on one specific area.
In children with solid tumors that haven't spread to other parts of the body, however, surgery can often effectively remove cancer when used in combination with chemotherapy and/or radiation.

Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy is medication which is used as a tool to eliminate cancer cells in the body. Kids with cancer can be given the chemotherapy medications intravenously (through a vein) or orally (by mouth). Some forms of chemotherapy can be given intrathecally, or into the spinal fluid. The drugs enter the bloodstream and work to kill cancer in all parts of the body.
The duration of chemotherapy treatment and type and number of different of drugs used depends on the type of cancer and the child's response to the drugs. Every child's treatment differs, so a child may receive daily, weekly, or monthly chemotherapy treatments. The doctor may also recommend cycles of treatment, which allow the body to rest and recover between periods of chemo.
All of the medications used as chemotherapy also carry the risk of both short-term and long-term problems. Short-term side effects may include nausea, vomiting, hair loss, fatigue, anemia, abnormal bleeding, and increased risk of infection due to destruction of the bone marrow, as well as kidney damage and menstrual irregularities. Some drugs carry a risk of bladder inflammation and bleeding into the urine, hearing loss, and liver damage. Others may cause heart and skin problems. Longer-term effects can include infertility, growth problems, organ damage, or increased risk of other cancers.
Your doctor will use precautions as well as other medications to counteract as many of the side effects as possible.

Bone Marrow Transplants

Kids with certain types of cancer may receive bone marrow transplants. Bone marrow is a spongy tissue inside certain bones of the body that produces blood cells. If a child has a type of cancer that affects the function of blood cells, a bone marrow transplant (along with chemotherapy to kill the defective cells) may allow new, healthy cells to grow. Bone marrow transplant is also sometimes used to treat cancer that does not involve blood cells because it lets doctors use higher doses of chemo than would otherwise be tolerated.

Radiation

Radiation is one of the most common treatments for cancer. A child who receives radiation therapy is treated with a stream of high-energy particles or waves that destroy or damage cancer cells. Many types of childhood cancer are treated with radiation along with chemotherapy or surgery.
Radiation has many potential side effects (such as increased risk of future malignancy and infertility), which you should discuss with the doctor.
The primary goal when treating kids with cancer is to cure them; this takes priority over all other aspects of care. However, many medications and therapies can make kids more comfortable while undergoing treatment for cancer.

Coping With Cancer

When possible, older kids should be involved with their own cancer treatment. Facts about the specific type of cancer and its effects should be explained in language suitable for the child's age. However, when cancer affects younger children — toddlers and those under age 4 — simply telling them that they are "sick" and need "medicine" to get better is often enough explanation. For all age groups, the goal is to prevent fear and misunderstanding.
Many kids might feel guilty, as if the cancer is somehow their fault. Psychologists, social workers, and other members of the cancer treatment team can be a great help in reassuring and helping them with their feelings.
The cancer treatment team can guide patients and families through the pain, uncertainty, and disruptions caused by cancer. If necessary, team can also contact or visit the child's school to explain the diagnosis to teachers and classmates. Replacing fear and misunderstanding with compassion and information is a goal in helping kids with cancer cope with the illness.
The diagnosis and treatment of childhood cancers takes time, and there are both short-term and long-term side effects. But thanks to medical advances, more and more kids with cancer are finishing successful treatment, leaving hospitals, and growing up just like everybody else. Today, up to 70% of all children with cancer can be cured.

Credit:http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/cancer/cancer.html#

Taking care of your very ill baby

If your child has a serious illness, the caretaking that falls to you is undoubtedly intense. But of course you do it willingly. After all, you'd do anything for your child, including switching places in a minute if only that were possible.
Instead you give all that you can, in every other imaginable way. It's harder than anything you've ever done, and honestly, there are moments when the sheer magnitude of what you're up against is so overwhelming that you just want to run and hide.
Ask any parent who's done this before and you'll find out something very important: You're not alone.

The Caregiver's Dilemma

When you're the caregiver of a child who is seriously ill, it can feel as if the whole world is on your shoulders. Your sick child needs you. You may have other children who need you. Your spouse needs you. Your job — however pointless work might seem right now — needs you.
Yet there's only so much you can give before you will feel mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. That's why it's a necessity — not a luxury — to spend some time taking care of yourself so that you can recharge and feel empowered to continue to support and care for your child.

Tips for Caregivers

Many of these tips might seem easier said than done at first, and a few may seem downright frivolous. But to make it through the long haul, consider the wisdom of that air-safety rule about putting your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. Here are some ways to do that:
Take breaks. It's essential to regularly schedule a few times each week — even for just an hour or two — when you can get away while a family member, friend, or a health aide stays with your child. Once away, that time is yours, so don't feel guilty about how you spend it. Nap, read, have coffee with a friend, go shopping, whatever allows you to relax. While you're out, your child will probably enjoy having someone else to talk to and you'll feel refreshed when you get back.
Eat right. It's no surprise that living on coffee and picking at hospital leftovers can leave you feeling tired and run down. If you know you're going to be out, carry nutritious snacks with you, like fruit, granola bars, sandwiches, or nuts. And if friends offer to bring homemade meals to your home to help out, take them up on it.
Exercise. Whether through a brisk walk, a bike ride, or yoga, most people find that exercise helps clear the mind, boost energy levels, and improve sleep. Even 20 minutes can do the trick, so save a bit of time every day to get moving.tay organized. Keep all the information you've accumulated about your child's illness in one place, including medication schedules, important phone numbers, and insurance information. When you think of questions for your doctor, write them down immediately so you won't forget. And since dealing with insurance companies can often seem like a full-time job in itself, enlist the help of your spouse or another trusted family member or friend to help keep it all straight. Use a notebook to keep all of the information in one place.
Ask for help. Your friends and family likely want to help you, but might not be sure about what you need. If someone says, "If there's anything I can do..." — and there is — say so. You'd be surprised at how running an errand, doing some laundry, or just sitting and listening to you talk about the day can not only benefit you, but also can make a loved one feel useful.
Find a support group. Ask your child's doctor, nurse, or social worker for information on local support groups related to your child's condition or caregiving in general. If you feel more comfortable sharing anonymously online, then look there. The important thing is to get beyond the feeling of isolation by reaching out to others who've been in your shoes.
Acknowledge your feelings. Your child is sick — of course you have feelings of anger and frustration, and days when you wish you didn't have to deal with it all. Does this make you a bad parent? No, it makes you human. Accept these negative feelings and the often painful fact that no matter how much time or energy you invest in your child's care, you can never be completely in control of your child's health and happiness.
Be aware of the signs of "caregiver burnout." Caregiver burnout is a true state of exhaustion, both physical and emotional. It tends to happen when caregivers try to "do it all" without getting the help or rest they need.
Because caregivers tend to be on autopilot, they're not usually quick to recognize burnout in themselves. Other people might notice the symptoms first, which can include changes in appetite and sleep patterns, withdrawal from social activities, increased anxiety, or emotions that are either heightened (such as excessive crying or irritability) or decreased (feeling empty or unconcerned). Take it seriously if someone you trust notices any of these things in you.

Getting Help

If you feel like you may be experiencing caregiver burnout, depression, or anxiety, explain your feelings and symptoms to your doctor, who may recommend that you see a counselor or therapist (especially one who specializes in caregiver needs).
Your doctor also may encourage you to take a temporary break from your duties by looking into respite care (the kind needed would depend on how ill your child is). Medications for anxiety or depression could be an option, too.
Finally, remember that you are not superhuman. You're a parent doing your best. So give your child your time, your encouragement, your attention, and your unconditional love. Just be sure to save a little bit for yourself.

Credit: http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/ill/caregivers.html?tracking=P_RelatedArticle#

The Healing Series: Part 3

Healing Series Part 3: In this article Affectionately known as “The Kindness Guy,” Michael J. Chase is an author, inspirational speaker,speaks about how to see the silver lining in worst of the times.

Tired of the bad news?

Once in a while, I’ll make the mistake of getting caught up in watching the national news—which is, in my opinion, not always a good way to begin the day. Although I find ways to stay informed about world events, rarely do I tune in to the glorified dismay broadcast by the media. In order to maintain a positive outlook and continue to deliver my lectures with enthusiasm, I find it best to stick to the weather and how the Red Sox did the night before (although if they lose to the Yankees, that can actually dampen my mood for a day).
On one particular occasion, though, I found myself trapped by a story. (If you’re a pet owner, you’ll surely understand why I couldn’t change the channel.) It was about a six-week-old puppy that had been intentionally thrown from a moving car onto a busy highway. He had been badly injured and instantly became a target for other drivers who may not have had time to react to what had just happened. It seemed as if this poor little guy had no chance of surviving. Soon after witnessing the vicious act, though, passersby began to stop; and one woman got out of her car, heroically rescued the puppy, and called for help. Her compassionate heart, along with the kindness of a veterinarian who donated the majority of a $3,000 surgery, ensured that this little dog would not only live, but would run and play again very soon.
While this unfortunate event had a happy ending, it also had a profound threefold effect on me during the 120 seconds it was on the air. First, there was heartbreak from seeing the puppy suffer, next came joy for his survival; and finally, absolute rage toward the person who committed the horrendous crime. I just couldn’t understand how someone could be so cruel. I was furious. As a dog lover, the story haunted me all day. Furthermore, I couldn’t find a way to let go of the fact that the scoundrel who did this got away.
What followed was even worse—I had the sensation of absolute hopelessness. After seeing such a horrible act of unkindness, I felt beaten down and actually began to question my life’s mission of creating a kinder world. Wondering if I was really making a difference, I thought, Is it really worth it? How can I possibly make an impact with people like that out there? I was ashamed of my thoughts, discouraged, and somewhat depressed.
Later that afternoon, still needing to vent about the coldhearted puppy assailant, something compelled me to tell my teenage son what had occurred. In medialike fashion, I recounted the story, perhaps hoping to bring him down with me. (Misery does love company, after all.) But as I angrily reported the news to him, expecting agreement with my “What’s the world coming to” attitude, I received the lesson of a lifetime.
Without any hesitation, Alex said, “Dad, you keep focusing on that one guy and the unkind thing he did. What about the people who stopped to help, the woman who rescued the dog, and the vet who saved his leg? Don’t you see that there was more kindness happening on that day than unkindness?”
I was dumbfounded. He’d taken a day’s worth of mental suffering and transformed it in a matter of seconds. By simply changing my perspective, his words ultimately changed my heart. Thanks to the amazing wisdom of my son, this fresh viewpoint sent my spirit soaring and gave me a renewed sense of hope—yes, the world is full of good people; and yes, this mission is worth it.
The well-known author Erica Jong once wrote: “Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” The following examples are situations that show two different perspectives. One is the victim’s view, while the other is the heart’s perspective of personal responsibility.
A young woman is continually abused (verbally) by her spouse.
Victim: She accepts her situation, and at times even believes his unkind words are true.
Responsibility: She chooses to leave him, take control of her life, and work at a shelter for abused women.
A man is unjustly fired from his job.
Victim: He becomes angry with everyone around him and remains bitter for years.
Responsibility: He chooses to see this event as an opportunity to do something he actually loves.
An 80-year-old woman is mugged in her neighborhood.
Victim: She vows to never go outside again due to her fear of strangers.
Responsibility: She chooses to start a neighborhood watch program and take a class in self-defense.
A mother loses her daughter in a car accident that was caused by a drunk driver.
Victim: She chooses to remain depressed for years, while harboring hatred toward the drunk driver.
Responsibility: She creates a support group for other parents who have lost children to drunk drivers.
A man experiences the heartbreak of a painful divorce.
Victim: He refuses to ever trust women again and vows to never remarry.
Responsibility: He chooses to move forward; and knows that with time, healing, and forgiveness, he will one day learn to love again.
As you can see, there’s tremendous power when you shift your perspective from a place of suffering to one of service. If you feel that you’ve ever been a victim in your life, it’s time to change that belief right now. Moving from an egocentric “poor me” role to a place of contribution transforms weakness into strength. When you look at all of your past hurts, big or small, as an opportunity to serve others, you’ll become a powerful creator and accept full responsibility for your circumstances.

Read More on:http://www.healyourlife.com/author-michael-j-chase

The Healing Series: Part 2

Continuing the healing Series Part 2 : Dr. Dena Mendes talks about letting go and forgiving.. She says her return to health -- not just good health, but great looking, great feeling health! – is due to her diet, her proactively healthy lifestyle and her positive attitude. Read More..

Can U Surrender?

Surrendering is the perfect recipe for contentment. Why, then, is this task of letting go and moving on so much easier for some than it is for others?
It wasn’t until my third go-round with cancer that I truly understood why I’d attracted it into my life. One day while meditating, I received the vision of a key. I went to my natural doctor to help interpret what this could mean, and we both felt that I was ready to open Pandora’s box, if that’s what it took, in order to find the answers to the recurring cancer in my life.
The following day I went into my special space to do some yoga and look for some more clues. As I was digging through some old CDs to play, I saw one by Caroline Myss called Personal Healing. I remembered going to her workshop with Dr. Wayne Dyer when I had first been diagnosed four years earlier, but I didn’t remember buying this CD at all. I pressed PLAY.
The program began with a dedication to a woman named Penny who had died of breast cancer. I was just about to jump up and turn it off—the last thing I needed to hear was another story about cancer, especially if the person was dead. Yet something wouldn’t let me move off my mat, so I stayed put and listened. I’m so glad I did, since it was by far the most valuable information I received through my healing transformation.
First Caroline spoke of some people’s need to stay sick because, unconsciously, they might be getting something out of it. I saw how I might have been doing this so I could get the love I so desperately wanted from my family. I thought, I won’t do that anymore.
Then she started to talk about the alchemy we do for ourselves. This sounded just like me, the queen of natural doctors, healing, tinctures, herbs, and remedies. My ears perked up when she said, “You can go to the ends of the earth for the most potent form of herb, tincture, or essential oil.” I was anxiously waiting to hear where I needed to go next for the most miraculous potion on the face of the planet, when she said, “It’s forgiveness. The remedy is simple: if you don’t get rid of your bitter heart and forgive, nothing will work.”
I immediately stood up and said out loud, “I’ll do it. I will forgive. If that’s what it takes, I can do that. If Caroline says to do it, I will.” I was gung ho and ready to call the person I most needed to forgive: my mother.
Then the voice on the CD warned about the struggle between the ego and the spirit. Isn’t that funny? This is exactly what was happening—my ego was taking out all the old pictures to show my spirit. My ego reminded my spirit, “You know what your mother will say. She will say what she said last time you tried to forgive her: ‘I forgive you too, Dena,’ in that patronizing way of hers. Remember the egotistical and accusatory way she said it? Yep, she will do it again.”
But my spirit did exactly what Caroline said it would. “I don’t care,” it responded. “I must forgive her. My life depends upon it.” I decided to make the call—but before I did, I sent my mother Caroline’s CD, in the hopes that she would listen to it and better understand where I was coming from, and not hurt me as my ego feared she would. No such luck. When I told her, “Mom, I forgive you,” she replied, “I forgive you, too,” just like my ego warned. I now understand that she couldn’t help herself . . . she was in her ego.
After the frustrating call, I went upstairs to my bathroom to blow-dry my hair, and I started to yell at God. “You think it’s funny?!” I screamed. Then, through my tears, I laughed at the hypocrisy of it all. “It’s all so cleverly done,” I heard myself say. “So many twists and turns in dark alleys. I have the worst mother on the planet, I get cancer, and the only way to heal myself is through her. What could You possibly have been thinking when You designed my life’s plan?”
At this point, my husband walked in. He said, “Dena, I think you’re confusing forgiveness with relationship.” It was as if someone had turned on the proverbial lightbulb. All at once, the room went from dark to bright. I got it. God couldn’t have possibly meant that I needed to stay in an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship. I could forgive my mother and even love her, but not be in a relationship with her. This would take work—the addiction to the dysfunction was strong, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for me to break free from this emotional web. Surrendering would be a process, but I was determined to accomplish this surrendering business in this lifetime.

Read More on http://www.healyourlife.com/author-dr-dena-mendes/2011/11/lifeshelp/get-healthy/can-you-surrender